KillerMangos.com

Battle Monkey

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It was a long day at the office. The air-condition unit was blasting but it was still hot. The complaints from the office staff are still echoing in my aching ears.

The usual rubber neckers on the freeway are enough to make anyone mad! The blood boils and the crazed glossy eyes dart looking for the exit off this six-lane mousetrap.

Finally I reached my front door fumbling for my keys turned the knob and entered my abode.

With a deep sigh of relief I tossed the keys onto the counter. The clink-clank of the keys hitting the counter was interrupted by the death screams of my uninvited visitor.

I turned only in time to see a one and a half meter blur heading straight for me. This would be the battle of the century, a battle of life and death.

At the last moment, my trained instincts went into high gear. A quick dodge to the right and swerve to the left, back flip and I was now on top of the counter. My opponent smashed into the far wall with a thud that made the neighbors in the next apartment scream “Shud-up! Will ya!?”

After the stars dissipated from my disoriented opponent, he turned and pulled himself up. Incredibly he managed to hold onto his weapon. A staff almost as tall as him with adamantium tips poised for anything.

I hopped off the counter into the kitchen and in one move opened the drawer and pulled out the biggest weapon I could find. Unfortunately it was a ladle. At least it was metal. Well it had metallic properties and there was probably some metal in there, somewhere.

My opponent was poised in his best level 8 Kung-Chi attack stance. Staff held at chest level and eyes glaring over his brown haired face. Battle Monkey ready.

A dark grin came over my lips, squinting eyes. The muscles in hand contacted gripping a twelve-inch ladle.

This will be a glorious battle, the kind told over campfires and immortalized in children’s fairytales.

Just what the doctor ordered. Pure stress relief. Aggressions released.

Order your battle monkey today. Call NOW Operators are standing by!

1-800-BATTLEMONKEY

Order today and receive FREE upgraded training videos for level 7 to level 13 Kung-Chi Battle Monkey. 5 FREE DVD’s 18 Hours of intense training!

Simply plug in the video and when you come home your Battle Monkey will have learned new skills.

Warning: Keep out of reach of children. Battle Monkeys are not toys. They are well trained fighting machines. BM LLC is not responsible for broken bones, personal or property damage or fire. Please refer to manual BM-01.

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